The Burden of Fear

Every since I was a little girl I remember being afraid. I woke up often with nightmares retreating to my parents room looking for comfort. As an adult the fear has followed me, every thing from current events, to my child growing up to be a serial killer.

I read in a book by Linda Dillow and received one of the best pieces of advice I can remember, she said to write down everything you can remember being fearful of in the past and how it actually turned out. As I pondered this I realized not once had my worst fear come to fruition, and in most cases they never would. I think on this often now as fear comes in waves every few weeks and I at times am paralized by it, unable to see outside my self. Is this the way God intended me to live? NO! "The Lord has not give you a spirit of fear but of truth, love and sound mind, (some versions say power, love and sound mind). The bible also says that "the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy", and I am being stolen from! If I choose fear, (and at times it does not feel like a choice), then I have given way to the enemy (the devil, satan, evil whatever you call it)there is no deniying that there is a force working against all that is good. But if I make the choice to battle against this force then good ultimatly wins. I I serve a good God I know this, and I have also questioned this. My God is Love, if I give way to fear I am serving it and it is my God, I cannot serve two masters. I think women in general fear more, it's just the way our minds work we are not compartmentalized we are very complex in our thinking. For some it is hard to separate truth, from feelings. I know that each time I face my fear and choose to trust God instead I get closer to overcoming. I heard of life not as a circle but a spiral you go around and face a lot of the same challenges but each time you are a little higher above than you were.

We make choices every day some conscience some instinctual. The truth is when facing our demons, we HAVE to CHOOSE peace & love, knowing that patience and willingness to walk through darkness trusting God will bring us triumph. Nothing good comes easily. Do not give up on facing and overcoming the darkness that invades, be strong and of good courage!